he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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