we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
