There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
