Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
