Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I'm both gender and math confused
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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