Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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