dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
