this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
