Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
