hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
