why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Less talking, more tequila
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
