Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I won't apologize to a one balled man
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
