considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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