I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
