New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
