Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
