An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
