U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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