i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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