she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
is wine microwaveable?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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