too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
