just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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