The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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