remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
