i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
