I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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