You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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