she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
