My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
