Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
