I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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