I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
