Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
