are you still at the devil's house?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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