How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
