She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
