So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
