i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
