oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
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