would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
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