i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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