I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
