??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
