I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
