Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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