so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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