Me. At least after what I've been through.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
