btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
