found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
