My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
