Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
