and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
you had me at cake vodka
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
