the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
